


Red Ribbon

by justbee



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Lotor is a gentleman, M/M, allura and lance are only together in the beginning, allura's lowkey manipulative, but she's not a bad person, guys this is my first fic, i just really wanna write, mentions of self harm, ok holy crap sorry, she's just not right for lance, there's gonna be eventual sex, this isn't my original idea
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:27:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23904625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justbee/pseuds/justbee
Summary: SOOOO I got this idea from wittyy_name (i forgot if they came up with the idea or not but that's where i first saw it), where you use an album from a singer you like and make a story out of the chapters. By the way GO READ YOUNG RENEGADES they're doing SUCH a good job so far and I LOVE IT.Anywho, my album is Ribbon by Billie Marten, so there will only be four chapters to this bad boy.Lance decided to take his girlfriend Allura to meet his parents back in his home town. He never realized how unwelcoming his home felt... but what he DID realize is he was becoming obsessed with the pair of violet eyes that seemed to haunt him everywhere he went.MENTIONS OF SELF HARM, it's very brief, and there's no blood/gore, but if that's not your thing, u can skip down past it.
Relationships: Adam/Shiro (Voltron), Allura/Lance (Voltron), Allura/Lotor (Voltron), Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 29





	1. Ribbon

Lance stared up at the large mansion looming in front of him. Distantly, he could hear the slam of the trunk of his car, but he still stared up at the house. It barely felt like home, but no one really knew that. He’s always felt this way… but how would he know if there’s something better? He’s never known anything else, apart from his apartment he owned now. Like his mother always said, staying comfortable is staying happy.

“Lance? Are you coming?” Allura called, already standing at the front door. He didn’t notice her walk up the long driveway, and he didn’t notice his parent’s butler as he took their luggage inside. 

“I’ll be right there!” he responded, flashing her a smile, despite that she already turned to go inside. It was the sentiment that mattered. That smile slowly shifted off his face as he let his eyes trail across the building.

He had so many memories in this house… so why did it feel so unwelcoming? He hadn’t been back to his home town in quite some time, so it was probably the time away that he distanced himself. He was busy getting himself an education, a stable job, and taking care of his girlfriend. When his parents asked them to visit for the summer, Allura begged to come down. She had never seen the place, after all, and she was used to this glamorous life.

It paid off to be a beautiful model your entire life.

So Lance could definitely say he was lucky when it comes to lifestyles. He grew up being the rich kid, the one everyone loved, the classic high school quarterback that won every game. He graduated top of his class, attended a real high-end college, and that’s where he met Allura.

How they met was a funny thing, actually. They were both at a frat party, one that Lance really didn’t even remember all too well, but Allura says he couldn’t keep his hands off her the whole night. And he believed it, because damn if she wasn’t the prettiest girl Lance’s ever seen, then he doesn’t know who is.

They hit it off after, and they’ve been dating for a year now. She moved in with him into his quaint studio apartment, and there they’ve been making big money. Lance didn’t like to brag about it all that much, but Allura loved to show off her wealth. He let her. It did look good on her.

Lance was drifting his eyes over the front lawn, where countless christmas and neighborhood parties were thrown, and the sound of a door opening snapped him out of his stupor. His eyes quickly found the source of the sound; their next door neighbor, Lotor. His father was a CEO of some big company, Lance didn’t remember what for, but the word Galra was thrown around a lot. Lotor, himself, was following in his father’s footsteps. They had attended many parties together.

That’s not who walked out of his door though. A smaller figure walked out, clad in a black leather jacket, tight black ripped jeans, and deep red biker boots. A mop of black hair was pulled into a small ponytail, and porcelain skin was visible just under his bangs. He couldn’t hear what he was saying, but he was talking to someone inside the house.

Then, the door shut, and he walked down that equally long driveway to a bright red motorcycle leaned on its peg. Lance didn’t register that he was staring until violet eyes met his own, but even then, he was caught. He knew this kid. He knew him from high school.

Keith Kogane.

He had a nasty reputation of beating the shit out of people he didn’t like, but Lance knew he was smart. He always aced all of his classes, and he was one of the only people Lance could play at equal levels with in gym class. They’ve never spoken to each other, but something in Lance urged him to wave a hand. To say hi. To say something. 

Instead, he continued to stare, and Keith kept his gaze. He pulled his helmet out of the underseat compartment, closed it, then lifted a leg and straddled the bike. He kicked up the peg with his foot, balancing the bike on his own as he started up the engine. It was loud, and it made Lance jump a little, but he never broke eye contact.

Keith lifted the helmet over his head, and just before he pulled it on, shot a wink at Lance. He hoped Keith couldn’t see him from under his dark visor, because that definitely sent heat to his face. He revved the engine, and Lance watched him as he drove off into the afternoon. 

The only thing ringing through Lance’s head was: What the fuck?

[][][][][][][][][]

“Lance!” 

The sound of his name brought him out of a thought-filled stupor, and brought his attention to his girlfriend. Allura was dressed in a sleek, tight fitted dress, wearing a white, fluffy jacket that fell just past her rib cage with it. Damn, Lance was so lucky.

“I’ve been talking to you all this time, are you even listening?” she asked, staring Lance down with bright, accusatory eyes. At times, they could feel like flowers against his skin. Times like this, however, felt like deep cutting knives.

He knew it wasn’t because of her, but something in him always made him feel like he wasn’t enough for her. He constantly felt like he was doing something wrong… but that was just him. He was making himself think these things. It had nothing to do with Allura.

“I’m sorry hun, I’m just… not feeling too good right now. I’ve got a headache-”

“Lance, you’ve been getting headaches since we arrived. Are you sure nothing’s on your mind?” Allura’s look turned softer again, and he let out a breath. Fuck, what could he say? He saw a boy the day they arrived and now he wouldn’t stop seeing him? Like that would go over well. She had already been skeptical of dating him when she found out he was bisexual.

“Really, Lura, I’m fine. The dress looks beautiful on you,” Lance replied, plastering a smile onto his face to convince her more. He was an expert at faking a smile… no one ever really tells when it’s real or fake. It worked this time too, as Allura shrugged, turning back into the tiny changing room.

Allura wanted to venture out and explore where Lance grew up. Of course, as soon as she saw the tiny yet expensive boutique corner store, she had to stop in to find something. So Lance sat on a cheap plastic chair outside of the changing room, and waited like a good boyfriend would.

As he sat there alone once again, he couldn’t help but let his thoughts drift back to those violet eyes. They were fucking haunting him. Lance never felt this way around Keith before, so why the hell would he think of him now?

He didn’t even know the guy, but… but those eyes.

Lance glanced to his side, eyes lazily grazing over racks upon racks of clothes, people silently shuffling between them. The soft scrape of metal against metal as they looked through the options. Quiet conversations about what looks nice and what belongs in the trash. A busy atmosphere helped calming his thoughts about those violets… those violets!

Right there! Beside the jean rack. Pale skin, black ivory hair, purple amethyst hues mixing with flourescent lighting and flashing a dark periwinkle just below his irises.

Keith is here.

“Next outfit, what do you think?” Allura’s voice made his head jerk back to her, almost sheepishly, as if he had been caught stealing. Why did he feel like this? “Does it make me look big?” At that, Lance actually looked at the outfit she wore; a pair of high waisted, designer brand jeans with a blue, button up top.

“No, you look nice,” Lance said, almost hurriedly, and turned his head back in the direction of the mysterious boy. Only to find Keith was no longer there. Fuck, maybe he wasn’t even there in the first place.

Lance needed help. He didn’t know what to do.

[][][][][][][][]

They were in the backyard of Lance’s parent’s house when he saw those eyes again. Lance had already come to terms with his mind’s obsession over this boy, stupid or not. Did he know what to do with this? No, he did not.

He definitely didn’t know what to do when Lotor walked into their backyard garden, carrying a tray of tea sandwiches with him.

“Knock knock!” he announced, drawing everyone’s attention to him. Although, Lotor could draw attention without talking; the guy was drop dead gorgeous.

He had long, white hair that fell just to his shoulders, slicked back in a way that should make him look like he has a huge forehead but instead defines his well-rounded face. He was tanned as well, with deep blue eyes that contrasted well with his pastel yellow suit. Seriously. He was wearing a pastel yellow suit.

Maybe Lotor wasn’t as straight as he had assumed.

“Lotor! What a wonderful surprise! We were just having tea, would you care to join us?” Lance’s mother, as friendly as ever, had no problem with neighbors visiting any time of the day. Even when she had asked for “quality family time in the garden” this afternoon.

“Ah, I’d love to, but I actually have company over, and I’d hate to interrupt a family tea time.” Of course Lotor was a gentleman. He always was.

“That’s alright dear, the more the merrier! Invite your company over, we can have a little party. I don’t remember the last time I’ve had an audience of more than four,” Lance’s mom replied sweetly.

“Just last thursday, dear, we had a book club meeting,” Lance’s father corrected, placing a hand gently on top of hers. Lance’s parents were the sickly sweet couple that you had to look away from with how much PDA they displayed. As overbearingly sweet as they were, Lance loved them, and he couldn’t deny that he wanted that for himself.

With Allura? Maybe. If she kept him that long.

“Well, if you insist. I’ll leave these sandwiches here and retrieve my company. Thank you so much for letting us join you.”

“It’s no problem at all! We’re happy to have you join us.”

Lotor was gone for no longer than a minute, and he returned with two people trailing behind him. There was a girl Lance didn’t recognize, but it must run in the genes to look attractive in his family, because she was beautiful.

He could see the resemblance to Lotor immediately; the same deep blue eyes, the same jaw shape, the same straight slope of a nose. She had a bob of dark blue hair to her chin, and she wore a pastel blue sundress that complimented her lighter tanned complexion. 

Yeah, it definitely ran in the genes.

And beside her was Keith. He wore a simple black shirt and jeans. No designer brand things, no formal attire, just simply dressed. Lance was a little disappointed he didn’t get to see how his pale skin would contrast on a dark suit… wait, what? Why would Lance be disappointed about that? He didn’t care what Keith wore. In fact, he couldn’t care less!

Today, Keith’s hair was down, sporting that classic mullet he’s had since highschool. Seriously, does this kid live in the ‘80s? Despite that, though… it suited him. Keith didn’t have a sharp-as-a-blade jawline, but it was soft. Rounded in a way that almost seemed… cute. Almost. The bangs fell over his face, some strands falling into his eyes, but that did nothing to block the view of them.

Keith’s eyes, as usual, were beautiful. Beyond that… they were godly. That’s definitely not something he’s afraid to admit.

“Keith, Acxa, this is the McClain family. McClains, this is my sister Acxa and my cousin Keith,” Lotor introduced, gesturing to the group as a whole.

“I’m Rosa, it’s very nice to meet you both,” Lance’s mother replied, shining a bright smile towards them.

Soon enough, they were all sitting around the round table in his parents garden, and conversation was… well… awkward to say the least. Allura was completely enraptured with any word that came out of Lotor’s mouth, which surprisingly didn’t make him as queasy at how tight Allura would hold his arm when Acxa talked to Lance.

Allura was usually like this… but Lance didn’t mind. That much. He’d never say anything against it, he knows she’s never had a healthy relationship before, so of course she was going to be overprotective of him. It’s all she’s ever known.

“So my father decided the company would be passed down to me after that, bless his heart. I do hope he gets better someday, he doesn’t deserve to pass in such a horrid manner,” Lotor finished an explanation of some sort that Lance really wasn’t paying all that attention to.

He couldn’t help but stare at the way Keith would pick the crust off his sandwich before eating it, or the way he’d cross his arms so often, showing off his strong biceps and a forearm that could make Lance’s legs weak-

“That’s so very kind of you,” Allura practically purred, gazing at Lotor from where he sat across from her. “It must be a terrible situation to go through, to learn so much about running a business in such a short amount of time.”

“Ah, it’s nothing, really. I’ve been studying business management ever since I could read. Even if the company never became mine, I knew I wanted to start something for myself. The paycheck is definitely worth the years of studying.” Allura laughed at that, a little too loudly to be casual, but Lance was used to this. He couldn’t make her laugh like that, he’s never been able to. 

As much as she says it's fine and that she adores his jokes, he knows she’s not the fondest of them. His sense of humor was far from hers, but that’s ok. They couldn’t be the same with everything.

“So Keith, what do you do for a living?” Lance’s father asked, catching the attention of most people at the table. It definitely caught Lance’s.

To say Keith looked nervous at a direct question would be an understatement; he went stiff in his chair, eyes widening just a little and breath drawn between clenched teeth. Lance wouldn’t have noticed if he wasn’t paying so close attention to the boy already.

“I, um, I work at an auto repair shop.” The look on Lance’s father’s face was as if Keith told him he sold drugs to orphaned children for a living. Great, here we go.

“Oh… so you run the place?”

“No, no, I just work there. I’d love to open my own one day, but I don’t know nearly enough information on how to keep a business running.” His dad’s eyebrow twitched, a sign of annoyance from the man Lance was used to seeing.

“Lance knows lots about starting a business, maybe he can give you some pointers!” Lance’s mom attempted to put out the tension rising between Keith and Lance’s dad, but honestly, they both knew it was pointless. Lance’s dad already made up his mind on his opinion of Keith.

“Have you built something from scratch before?” Lance found himself asking, catching Keith’s attention and meeting those dazzling eyes again. He raised an eyebrow in confusion, eyes squinting slightly and lips just barely puckered, and oh god Lance stop thinking about this. “Y’know, like, build a car up or something?” 

“Not a car, but I built my bike.” Lance was mesmerised with the way his Adam’s apple moved slightly as he talked, and the way his tongue danced in his mouth when he spoke.

“Really? That’s cool. I’ve never rode a motorcycle before-”

“And you won’t now, motorcycles are dangerous and your face is too important to be damaged,” Allura added from beside him, squeezing his arm in her vice-like grip. A soft snort resounded from across the table, catching Lance and Allura’s attention with it. “What?”

“Nothing,” Keith answered, looking off towards the rest of the garden at that. Lance could practically feel the frown pulling down Allura’s face, and apparently so did Lotor.

“Allura, would you care to join me and my sister while we stroll through the garden?” At that, she lit up like a light.

“Of course!” She stood out of her chair so fast you’d think there was a fire under it. Lance wordlessly watched her go, Acxa trailing behind them a little ways away. She definitely didn’t want to walk with them, but Lotor was probably trying not to seem weird. Lance didn’t mind. He didn’t mind the small aching of his heart.

Who was he to hold her back anyways?

“What’s your job, then?” Keith caught Lance’s attention once again, and he immediately felt an easy smile slip onto his face.

“I’m a Branch Manager at Altean Banking,” Lance answered, obviously showing off the title he had worked so hard to get. “I’m sure I’ll be promoted to Deputy Branch Manager soon, too. It’s a great thing.”

“Do you like it there?” That startled Lance a little, his cocky smile falling just a little. Did he… like it? He liked his paycheck, but who ever liked work? That’s not what it’s about.

“I mean, I get a big paycheck, so that helps-”

“But do you like what you do?” Keith held his heavy gaze, being caught again by how startlingly beautiful they were, especially up close. With him this close, he could see the flecks of dark blue, dark violet, and even some hazel. They were mesmerizing… he could stare at them all day. If they didn’t belong to a person, in which he would be considered staring. As he was now.

“Of course he does!” Lance’s mother interjected, jerking Lance out of his stupor. His mother looked a little angry, which was a lot for her to pull off. Even her crossed arms and angry face looked cute. “He’s worked hard to get that job, he wouldn’t want it if he didn’t like it.” At that, Keith glanced back and forth from Lance’s mom to Lance. Finally, his gaze settled on Lance again, and he raised an eyebrow again, deadpan face.

“Does your mom always answer for you?” With that, Keith stood, walking away from the table and towards the entrance of the garden. Lance stared after him, barely listening to his mother rant quietly about how rude Keith was being. 

Lance moved before he even knew what he was doing; jumped out of his chair and walked after Keith.

“Lance? Lance! Where are you going?” his mother called after him. He couldn’t stop for them, though. Lance was running out of time here. He was only here for another week, if Allura didn’t beg him to leave early.

Lance didn’t know why… but he needed to follow this boy.

“Keith!” he called, reaching him as he pulled himself onto his bike again, just like the first time he saw him.

“Yeah?”

Ok, now that Lance was here, he had no idea why he called after Keith. What did he want?

Honestly… just Keith. Keith’s company, more stories, more about his life. That’s what he wanted. Keith must have sensed it in some weird sort of way, because the next thing Lance knew, there was a helmet in his hands.

“Hop on.” Lance gaped at him, eyes wide and mouth hanging open in disbelief. Keith, to say the least, looked amused. “Don’t hurt yourself thinkin’ about it, you can say no if you want to.” Lance’s mouth snapped shut, eyes narrowing at Keith as if he was challenged. Why did he feel like he was challenged? 

Wordlessly, Lance pulled on the bike helmet and swung his leg around the bike. A spike of excitement went through him at that, and he made a pathetically annoying noise as Keith started up the engine. But who fucking cares because he’s riding a bike! Holy shit, he’s on an actual motorcycle! With Keith of all people!

“You’ll wanna hold on,” Keith said, voice slightly muffled from the helmet he wore. That was the only warning Lance got before they took off, making Lance yelp and immediately wrap his arms around Keith’s waist.

When the initial feeling of panic died down, Lance opened his eyes. He never realized he closed them in the first place. When he looked around… he saw his home. His entire hometown from such a different perspective. Buildings flew by as they sped down the main road through their tiny town, making a small ache start up in Lance’s heart again.

As much as he tried to deny it, he missed his hometown. While his house may not feel welcoming, there was always some special place Lance had a tender memory every minute they drove through the town.

Nostalgia sank deep into his chest, and it was a bitter sweetness that brought memories surfacing in his mind, and disappearing just as fast as they had come on. Lance was desperate to hold on to them.

The thing is, Lance wasn’t paying attention to where Keith was taking him. In hindsight, he should have; Keith could’ve turned out to be psycho and dragged him out here to beat him to death… not that he thought Keith would do that. He definitely wasn’t intimidated by this guy.

When Keith started to slow their speed, Lance took in his surroundings; a familiar, long, two story building. A large parking lot. A football stadium. Why the hell did Keith take them to their old highschool?

“Really?” Lance said, shifting his arms off of Keith, instead placing his hands against his hips to balance himself. It took Lance a minute to realize the intimacy of where his hands were placed, but he couldn’t get them to move. Good thing he was wearing the helmet, because he couldn’t stop the heat flooding his face even if he tried.

Lance’s hands were tingling where they sat against Keith’s paper thin shirt, which really left nothing to the imagination. Even the muscles on his sides were strong, and the shirt was so soft against his fingertips, and holy SHIT Lance STOP.

Focus, Lance. Think about your girlfriend. Think about Allura, beautiful, wonderful Allura. With her dark skin and flowing white hair-

“You can let go of me now.” With the sound of Keith’s voice, Lance realized they had stopped moving. He didn’t know when they stopped moving, or how long Lance had kept his hands where they were, but he yanked them back now.

“Sorry,” Lance replied, fighting to keep the embarrassment from leaking into his voice. With one swing of his leg over the bike, Lance hopped off as fast as he could. They stood at the far end of the school parking lot, the closest to the football field. “So… why are we here?” 

Keith got off the bike after him, ignoring Lance’s question in favor of walking towards the football field. Why was he going there?

“Keith?”

He still ignored Lance, which left him no choice but to follow after the silent mullet-head. They didn’t talk for a while, and Lance just followed him all the way to the gate of the football field. And then Lance panicked because Keith was climbing the fence.

“Keith! What the fuck are you doing? Do you want to get arrested?” Lance whisper screamed, feeling the need to be quiet. He couldn’t get arrested, he’d never hear the end of it from Allura. Or his parents. 

“So you do curse. Funny, I thought your mouth was too clean to do that,” Keith replied smoothly, landing on the grass on the other side of the gate without so much as a fumble. Fuck, did Keith do this often?

“Keith!” A last ditch effort for making the kid realize he wasn’t invisible and they were definitely going to get caught, but Keith just rolled his eyes so hard his head moved with it.

“Relax, princess, I do this all the time. Hurry up, or you will get us caught.” Lance knew it was supposed to be an insult, but he couldn’t help the heat that rushed to his face at the name. “Or don’t. Be a wuss like that.” Oh fuck. That’s it.

Lance walked up to the fence, clambering for purchase against the shaky metal thing. For a moment, he was worried it would collapse under his weight, but it still stood. It took a few moments to get up, and he got over it fine too, but when he went to step down, his foot met nothing but air. And he fell. On his ass. 

A small chuckle resounded from the other boy, which would have made Lance laugh if he wasn’t so surprised at the sound. And wow, ok. Lance needs to forget that noise existed. Never make him laugh again… maybe. One more time.

“Wanna tell me what we're doing here now that I’ve busted my ass?” And fuck, theres that chuckle again. Ok, yeah, he could hear more of that.

“You remember it?” Lance took a moment to stand up and brush the dirt off his pants, but he snorted at the question.

“Of course I do, I spent hours here every day back then,” Lance said, letting his gaze travel around the field. It looked just like it used to; the same rusting goal posts, the same light up timer towering over the field, the same high bleachers that ran down both sides of the field. Lance could practically see him running towards the goal, winning touchdown after touchdown for his team.

“Yeah… me too,” Keith responded, sounding just as nostalgic as Lance felt. Wait… what?

“You weren’t on the football team?” Lance didn’t mean for it to sound like a question, but now he was confused. Was Keith on the football team? Shit, was he on the team and Lance never knew?

No, no, that wouldn’t make sense. Keith was amazing in gym class, Lance definitely would have known if he was on the team.

“Nah, I used to suck guys off behind the bleachers for money.”

“Keith!”

“What?” Keith was doubled over, laughing his ass off, because apparently he found this amusing. Lance did not find this amusing. He didn’t want that piece of information in his brain. Doesn’t know what to do with it now that he has it, but fuck, it’s there. “No, but really, I used to sneak out here all the time with my friends. No one really watches the football field at night, or during the summertime. You get a really nice view of the stars from here.” Lance… definitely wasn’t expecting that from him. It was sweet. A really sweet sentiment.

“I’ve never… paid any attention to the sky while I was here.” While they spoke, they walked to the center of the field, and Keith suddenly flopped onto the grass like he intended to sleep there. When Lance didn’t follow suit, Keith looked up at him, then patted the grass beside him. A silent offer. He couldn’t refuse.

He slowly moved to lay down beside him, a good distance away, but close enough that it wouldn’t seem awkward. Things were silent for a moment, but Lance was taking in the sky from this new point of view.

It was beautiful.

There were clouds everywhere Lance could see, but not so much that he couldn’t see the bright sky behind it. They floated on lazily, and he could easily pick out shapes in them. He thought about voicing them to Keith but… that’s weird. That’s not a cool thing to do.

Instead, he sparked conversation.

“Why didn’t you join the football team?”

There was a beat of silence after that, stretching so long that Lance thought he wasn’t going to answer.

“Why would I? I was never one for sports,” Keith mumbled, finally answering Lance’s question. 

“Are you kidding? You were amazing at sports, I always played against you in gym class, we were like rivals!” Lance saw Keith turning his head to look at him from the corner of his eye, so he followed suit, meeting that violet gaze once again. Now that they were even closer, he could notice more detail in his entire face. Keith actually had a pretty spotless face, save for the occasional black head or two, but they were so miniscule they wouldn’t be seen unless he studied closely. Like he was now. Fuck, Lance was staring. Stop staring.

But Keith looked puzzled, furrowing his brows and puckering his bottom lip in that way he did when he was confused. Holy fuck, he had to admit it. Keith was cute. He was too cute.

“Ykno’, Lance and Keith, neck and neck, we were always tied, or at least first and second place.”

“I never noticed,” Keith said, turning his gaze back towards the sky. Um, what the fuck? How could he not notice?! They were always competing against each other! Lance knew they were! Even when just doing stretches, they were always fighting over who was more flexible… well, at least Lance thought they were.

They had never actually spoken before, apart from the brief “good game” or “pass the ball”. Maybe… they were never competing in the first place. At least not to Keith.

“Point is, you were good at sports. I would know,” Lance said, tone becoming softer the more he continued. Fuck, he didn’t mean to sound that gentle, but it just… slipped out. “You would’ve been great on the team.”

“It just wasn’t my type of crowd…” Lance didn’t protest further at that, he could hear the tension rising in Keith’s voice. Lance won’t push him. He knows when to lay off.

When Lance looked back to the sky, he was surprised to see streaks of orange lighting up a portion of it. Was the sun setting? Already? How long had they been there? Instead of pointing that out, though, Lance found himself pointing out a shape in the clouds above them. He could see a family of turtles. Keith kept seeing various knives.

“Is that your secret kink or something? Do you have a knife fetish?” Keith laughed at that, making the smile on Lance’s face grow brighter.

“Yes, I keep seeing knives in the sky because I’m desperately attracted to them. With that logic, you must have a kink for sea creatures,” Keith replied, laughter puttering out into chuckles. They may even be giggles, but then again, when does Keith giggle? “Oh, look. The first star’s out.” 

Lance watched Keith raise his arm, dragged his eyes up the pale flesh and large muscles, stopping a few times at the barely-visible blue veins in the crease of his arm, and then… scars. Scars littered Keith’s wrist in every direction possible. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know what those were.

Lance didn’t know what came over him, but he definitely didn’t think of his actions as he sat up, reaching out and gently wrapping his hand around Keith’s wrist, right beneath the scars.

“Hey, what’re you…?” Keith drifted off, apparently realizing what Lance was looking at. He didn’t pull away, though, so Lance studied them.

They were all old and faded, a memory of a past Lance knew nothing about. A sad past he wasn’t a part of. A past he couldn’t have helped with back then. Lance moved his grip off Keith’s wrist, instead moving to brush his fingertips over the scars. They were bumpy on his otherwise smooth, unbearably soft skin. Seriously, did this kid bathe in lotion? How was his skin this soft?

But then the wrist was gone, retreating back to Keith, and Lance watched it go. Keith cradled the arm to his chest, staring at Lance in equal parts confusion and anger.

“What?” Keith all but bit out. Lance was taken aback at that. Yeah, Keith was usually rude to him, but never directly angry at him.

“N-Nothing, I was just… when was it?” Lance knew he didn’t deserve an explanation. It had nothing to do with him and it was none of his business… but still. Keith was a mystery to him. He had an entire past that Lance knew nothing about, and despite the fact that they had been around each other so much back then, he didn’t know a single thing about this guy.

He desperately wanted to. The fact that he knew this much without any explanation was almost a tease to him. He didn’t deserve to know Keith’s past, but fuck, did he ever want to.

“Back in high school. Went through a tough time for a bit. My brother helped me out, and everything’s fine now.” Keith made his tone final, obviously showing Lance that he didn’t want to continue this conversation. Despite knowing he should lay off… he wanted Keith to trust him. He’d never tried so hard to get someone to trust him. He had to show him Lance was here for him.

“Do you… wanna talk about it?” A snort resounded at that, making Lance raise a brow as Keith shook his head.

“You really think you can help me with my problems? Have you seen your life?”

Ok, what the fuck?

“Um, I have a perfect life, actually. I’ve got a stable job, a consistent paycheck, a beautiful apartment and a beautiful girlfriend. It’s a simple life, and there’s nothing more I could ask for.”

“Do you really want that life?” Lance stared down at him, even more confused than before. Lance opened his mouth to protest, but… nothing came out. “Are you honestly happy with your life right now? With your job, and your big paycheck, and your fancy apartment, and your model girlfriend. Do they make you happy?” Lance shook his head, bringing himself out of his stupor and finding his voice again.

“Why wouldn’t they?”

“I don’t know, Lance, you tell me.” He really wanted to fight back. Lance really wanted to say that he loved his life, and he loved his girlfriend and job and everything else Keith was apparently accusing him of disliking but… he couldn’t.

The words were stuck in his throat, rendering him speechless.

Keith took the silence as an answer, wordlessly looking back up to the sky. Lance studied his profile view, thoughts muddled and confused.

Lance loved his job, right? He loved his huge apartment, with its mahogany wood floors and huge, flatscreen T.V. He… well, he really likes Allura. He really wanted them to work out, desperate to keep her at all costs. So what he didn’t prefer the movies she picked out, because they always made him cry and Allura always made fun of him for it? So what he didn’t care for the way Allura decorated the apartment? So what if Lance liked to venture out and do fun things, and Allura didn’t? So what Allura always, always liked to have soft slow sex by candlelight, only when she initiated? They’ve never fought, and Allura hasn’t left him.

Relationship means sacrifices. Lance would give up anything for her.

With the conversation dropped, Lance moved to lay back down, looking up at the now dark sky, only growing darker as time continued. They didn’t speak for a while. Not until the sky was so dark, that Lance was mesmerised by how many constellations he could point out. Holy shit, Keith was right. It’s beautiful out here.

“I can see Orion,” Keith said, voice small. An olive branch for conversation, one that Lance gratefully took.

“Yeah, me too. There’s Taurus, too,” he replied, pointing it out in the sky, drawing over the invisible lines of the constellation.

“Is that your zodiac?”

“No, I’m a Leo.” Keith let out a chuckle at that, making Lance look over at him. “What?”

“Nothing, I’m just not surprised.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lance’s tone was accusatory, but there was no heat behind it. Nothing like the argument they had earlier. When Keith looked at him, his smirk was playful, and his eyes glittered with mischief. And if Lance stared a little too closely to see the way the stars made a galaxy within his eyes? Keith didn’t say anything about it.

“Stubborn, arrogant, the need to be treated like a princess,” Keith spoke, a smile growing wider on his face at whatever look Lance was sporting.

“Excuse me, but Leo’s are very strong. Natural born leaders.”

“Yeah, and a natural born crybaby.” Keith laughed at that, but Lance really wasn’t doing anything to help the situation. He gasped very over dramatically, hand moving over his chest as if Keith’s words really hurt him. Keith only laughed more.

“The audacity!” When Keith’s laughter puttered out into, yes, giggles, Lance spoke again. “What’s your zodiac, then?”

“Scorpio.” Lance laughed at that, throwing his hands in the air in disbelief.

“Oh and you’re making fun of me for being exactly like my zodiac? Violent, secretive, a conspiracy theorist at birth,” he said, poking Keith’s arm with his finger. They both busted out laughing at that, because they knew he was right. “Oh my god, you’re totally a conspiracy theorist!”

Lance’s laughter died down fast as he felt a vibrating in his left pocket, making him look down at himself. He swiftly fished for his phone, pulling it out to reveal he had twelve missed calls and forty new messages, ranging from Allura to his parents.

“Shit,” he muttered, opening his phone and going through his messages. Allura was going crazy, demanding to know where he went with Keith, why he went with Keith, and… why he would leave in the first place. Allura was completely trash talking Keith over text.

“Past your bedtime?” Keith asked, but Lance wasn’t up for his antics right now. God, how was he going to explain himself? “You know, this is a perfect example.” Lance looked over at him at that, raising a brow. “Why do they care so much? You’re, what, twenty three?”

“Twenty four,” Lance corrected.

“Twenty four, and yet, your parents are acting like you’re still seventeen. Your girlfriend is pulling the mom-card. Why should they care so much?” Lance shook his head, looking back at his phone.

“They’re just worried for me-”

“Doesn’t seem like worry. You’re your own person.” Lance shook his head, standing and looking back towards where the motorcycle was parked.

“N-No, I need to go home, I-”

“Lance.” He stopped at that, watching as Keith sat up, staring up at where Lance stood beside him. They stayed like that for a moment, simply staring at each other. As much as Lance was pleading to go home… he really didn’t want to. He’d give anything to make this night last longer. He couldn’t help but feel like something just… felt right here.

The memories, the field, the stars, Keith. He couldn’t deny how at peace he felt, and it’s a feeling he hasn’t felt in such a long time. Doesn’t remember the last time he let his guard down so much to not second guess being himself. Without fear of rejection, resentment, or being mocked.

He felt like himself.

“Lance,” Keith repeated, finally looking away from Lance’s gaze, making the boy feel like he could breathe again. “I’ll take you home if… if that’s really what you want.” Lance couldn’t say it. Couldn’t voice those words out loud. He’d be lying if he said he wanted to go home.

So, instead, he nodded. Keith sighed, heavy and long, exhausted even, and then stood from his place on the grass. They didn’t speak as they walked back to Keith’s bike. They didn’t speak as they climbed on, put on their helmets, and started the engine. Lance kept his arms wrapped tightly around Keith’s waist, despite the fact that Keith was noticeably going at a slower speed. He really didn’t want to let go of this moment yet.

But, of course, Lance’s house came into view after a while. They slowed more, then came to a stop. It took Lance a moment to remove his arms from around the other boy, slowly moving to pull off his helmet. He silently slipped off the bike, staring down his house as if he was facing the gates of hell.

Well, that may have been a little dramatic, but Lance definitely felt like he’d be facing hell when he walked in.

“Lance…” Keith started, catching Lance’s attention, “you need to think about… what you want to do. Stop thinking about what they want you to do. What they want you to think. You’re Lance McClain. Just you.” 

Keith’s words hit home immediately, starting an ache in his chest as he stared down the boy. Why was this so emotional? Why did Lance feel like he was being forced? It shouldn’t be this big of a deal. He should just get over it and go inside.

Lance nodded in response, turning back to his house and walking up the long driveway to the front of the house. He reached the stairs leading to the front door, but hesitated. Quickly, he looked over his shoulder, finding Keith to still be there, staring after Lance.

“Hey Keith?” The boy perked up at that, making the corners of Lance’s lips pull up, a threat of a smile he was trying to fight. “Thank you.”

With that, he turned, and walked into what might be the last day he’d be let out of Allura’s sight.


	2. Unaware

The next four days passed like nothing ever happened. Allura definitely argued with him about being out without her. Alone with Keith. Without saying where they were or when he’d be back. He can definitely see how that was out of line and how that could make her worry, but… he couldn’t get Keith’s words out of his head.

What did Lance want to do?

Lance currently wanted to leave the frozen foods section of the Food Mart they were at.

His parents were responsible people, but sometimes they forgot to get groceries. Which meant they sent Lance. Allura, of course, followed him. She hasn’t left his side since that night. She had even went so far as to persuade him with make-up sex. Lance didn’t need that to change his mind about what he was feeling.

He didn’t say no, though.

“That’s the problem living in a tiny little place like this, they have absolutely no vegan options,” Allura said, scanning the small vegan section in the aisle. They definitely had options for her, but she was too picky of an eater to entertain the idea of eating frozen pre-made stir fry.

Don’t get Lance wrong, he likes that she’s respecting the earth and caring for animals like that. It was sweet. He was also tired of being forced to eat that way, too. The moment they entered the frozen foods section, he was eyeing up the pizzas like a wolf eyeing a sheep.

Allura shut that down real quick.

“We can just make something?” Lance suggested, looking through the various frozen meals.

“Lance, when have you ever seen me cook something at home?” 

“I can make us something.” Lance’s patience was beginning to wear thin, but Allura reluctantly agreed to his offer.

They finally, finally left the frozen foods section, and Lance directed them towards the fruits and veggies.

“Do you think you could make those pastry things you made the last date night we had? What was it called?” 

“Pasta lejos,” he answered, already reaching for the plastic baggies used to pick out the veggies, but when he turned to find the onions… there was Keith.

Keith… wearing the cutest fucking outfit he’s ever seen the guy wear. I mean, if he could be called cute, he looked goth as fuck. Lance thought it was cute. He wore a dark gray shirt, black ripped jeans, and a black belt with a gold metal loop. Over his shirt, he wore an off-black cardigan, the sleeves just reaching his elbows, and the ends of the sleeves had a brown-grayish intricate design. His hair was up in that high ponytail again, leaving the shorter pieces to fall and frame his face.

The best part of it all, though, was the concentrated look on his face as he inspected an orange. His brows were pinched together, nose slightly scrunched in the cutest way, and he rolled something that looked suspiciously like a black bead between his lips. Did Keith… have a tongue piercing?

Before Lance could think better of himself, he was walking up to the boy.

“Glare any harder and it’ll rot,” Lance joked, watching as Keith’s head snapped up, glare immediately dropping from his face when he recognized Lance. He couldn’t help but smile at that, and the small smile Keith returned made it all the better.

“Hey, what’re you doing here?”

“Hmm, what does one do at a grocery store?” At that, Keith rolled his eyes, but Lance could see the smile he was fighting back with the twitch of his lips. “I definitely came here for the clothes shopping, obviously.” Keith poorly stifled a chuckle at that, and Lance felt like he won the fucking lottery.

And then that lottery ticket was ripped in front of him as Allura slid beside him, wrapping an arm around his arm and squeezing so hard he was sure it cut off circulation.

“Keith! So nice to see you again,” Allura said, voice a little too light, a little too friendly.

“Nice to see you too… Allura, was it?” Holy fuck. Keith was bullshitting her. Holy fuck, Keith!

If Lance had been looking, he’d be sure her brow would be twitching, a telltale sign that she was getting pissed off. Although she laughed as if it was a joke, it was too strained to pass as friendly. Keith didn’t bring it up.

“Well, we’ve got to get back to our shopping, our dinner isn’t going to cook itself, now is it, Lance?” Lance obviously recognized the reprimanding tone in her voice. His first instinct was to immediately go along with what she said… but Keith’s words still hung heavy in his mind.

He didn’t want to leave Keith yet.

“Dinner duty tonight. Maybe we catch up another day?” Lance offered, ignoring the heat of Allura’s gaze on the side of his face.

“Name a time and place, I’m free anytime,” Keith replied smoothly.

“I’m sure,” Allura breathed out, catching both of their attention. “I’m going to find discount fruits. Get the rest of the ingredients on your own.” With that, she released her death grip on Lance’s arm and stormed off in the opposite direction of the fruits. A small chuckle resounded from the other boy.

“Woof. She seems like a real charmer,” Keith said, smirk easily sliding onto his face.

“She’s just overprotective,” Lance defended, turning back to him. Keith was already looking at him, smirk becoming a little softer, something more personal.

“Hey, it’s ok, I would be too.”

What the fuck?

No, seriously, what the fuck?

Lance’s face was a roaring fire at that, eyes going comically wide and mouth going dry. Keith? Being jealous over him? Lance really couldn’t let his thought wander down that road, that was dangerous. That was a slippery slope that could trip him up if he so much as moved. Nope. Not facing that.

Keith let out a small chuckle, nudging Lance’s arm with his own.

“What other groceries d’you need?” Lance had almost forgotten about the recipe. Right. He needed ingredients.

“Ah, Allura wanted me to make dinner since there’s not much of a vegan food section here,” he explained, walking down the vegetable aisle and picking out the things he needed. Keith followed him, keeping the conversation going.

“You’re vegan? Funny, I thought of you as the burger addict. Guess it’s more bean burgers?”

“No, no, not me. Just her. I mean, she makes me eat what she eats when she’s around, but on the occasional time I’m eating alone, I chow down like a starved man,” Lance joked, delighted to hear another chuckle from Keith. He felt proud when he was the one to make him laugh. No one ever truly laughed at his jokes. It was always a fake, I’m-trying-to-be-nice-but-you’re-not-funny kind of way. Keith’s was never condescending, always natural.

“Well… if you want to “chow down like a starved man”, would you want to grab a bite sometime?” Keith asked, voice a little hesitant as he asked. Lance paused, hand hovering over the fresh garlic cloves, and turned his head to look at the guy. He looked nervous, but… hopeful. Smile sheepish in a way that did too many things to Lance’s heart.

Keith is dangerous.

“Really? The Keith Kogane wants to take lil’ ol’ me to dinner? I’m so honored,” Lance said, mocking a high-pitched, terrible southern accent. Keith laughed, once again. He immediately forgot why Keith was dangerous.

“Hey, I never said I was paying for you.” They both laughed a little, and Lance turned to face him directly. 

“No, but really, I’d love to. It’d be nice to get out of the house for a bit,” he said, smiling soft at the black haired boy. Keith smiled bright at that, and Lance could feel the heat rushing into his face once again. As much as he joked around, he loved having a friend he could be himself with.

He hadn’t felt this open in a long time… it felt great. It felt like a breath of fresh air.

“Great. Here, I’ll give you my number, we can arrange a time later,” Keith said, reaching in his back pocket. Once Lance actually registered his words and caught up to the moment, he quickly reached for his own phone. 

They exchanged numbers. Lance continued his shopping, waving a goodbye to Keith before he walked into a different aisle. He doesn’t remember the last time he felt this excited to hang out with someone.

[][][][][][][][]

Allura deleted Keith’s number from his phone. Lance was angry, but Allura was livid. He could tell by the way that she broke down crying when he brought it up. As soon as he asked her, the sob that followed his question made it sound like he told her he killed someone.

Whether she sounded disgusted or betrayed, though, he couldn’t tell.

So, of course, he had to pretend he wasn’t angry. The thing was, even if he wanted to be angry, he really just felt guilty. He knew Allura didn’t like Keith, yet he went and got the boy’s number like he didn’t care. Lance should’ve cared. A good boyfriend wouldn’t do what he did.

Lance accepted the loss of Keith’s number, he consoled his girlfriend, and he accepted her make-up sex. On the rare occasion that they did have an argument, it’s how they always forgave each other. They usually never fought, though.

Something about this trip was just putting a strain on their relationship.

Lance really wanted to make it up to Allura, he really did. He wanted to make her feel better, but when his phone vibrated on the nightstand late at night, he was curious.

Allura was fast asleep; she always fell asleep immediately post-sex. Like she was exhausted from the activity, but it was rarely that fast paced. Lance barely broke a sweat when he was with her. But it was nice. Lance was awake because… well, he couldn’t stop thinking. His thoughts raced from his girlfriend to his family to his job… to Keith.

When his phone went off, it sliced through those thoughts like a knife. He stared at his phone from where it sat, debating whether or not he wanted to see who it was. He definitely wanted to see who it was. So, he sat up in his plush bed, gently pushing off the covers and grabbing his phone before walking away from his bed, towards his bathroom.

He made sure to close and lock the door behind him when he went in, and only then did he bring the phone screen close to his face, his drowsy eyes struggling to focus.

It was Keith.

Mullet Head:  
2:30 A.M- Hey

Why the hell was Keith texting him at two in the morning?

Lancey Lance:  
2:31 A.M- Hey

Why the hell was Lance nervous about texting Keith? He’s just a friend. A friend Allura greatly dislikes and strongly voiced she wanted Lance to stay away from him, but… he wanted to. He wanted a friend he could be himself with.

Mullet Head:  
2:31 A.M- We still on for dinner?

Lancey Lance:  
2:31 A.M- Definitely. Time?

Mullet Head:  
2:32 A.M- 6:30 tomorrow night, Slav’s Diner.

Lancey Lance:  
2:32 A.M- Tomorrow?

Mullet Head:  
2:33 A.M- Yeah… is that a bad time for you?

Tomorrow was a very bad time for him.

Lancey Lance:  
2:34 A.M- NO NO NO not at all, I’ll be there ;)

Mullet Head:  
2:34 A.M- Lol alright. See ya then.

What the fuck did he do?

[][][][][][][][][]  
Lance put Keith’s number back into his phone.

[][][][][][][][]

This wasn’t a bad time because Lance had something going on that day. Oh no, in fact, they were literally doing nothing but sunbathing in Lance’s backyard all day.

This was a bad time because he just had a fight with Allura about him. They just got over it. Going to see Keith now would… Allura would be…

Fuck, why did Lance say yes?

It was the day of the dinner meet up, and he was laying stretched out against one of his parents white beach chairs, soaking up the sunlight. He had taken off his shirt hours ago, just letting the warmth comfort him for the time being. 

He didn’t get a chance to eat lunch either, so by the time five p.m came around, he was starving.

Allura was laying on a towel on the grass, flipped onto her stomach, wearing her signature white bikini that contrasted with her skin so well. Lance was honestly so lucky to have someone like her. Why she put up with him, he didn’t know, but he definitely knows that he loves her.

That’s why it was hard for him to muster up the courage to stand from his lawn chair. He figured she would question him, but Allura’s head was turned away from him. He walked away as quietly as he could, and once inside the house, he let out a long, tired sigh.

He shouldn’t feel as guilty as he does… right?

Lance quickly ran up the stairs, booking it into his room, and stripping off the shorts and boxers he wore before walking into his conjoined bathroom. He turned the shower head on, letting the water run for a bit to get warm. While he waited, he studied his face in the mirror.

This was… just a dinner. With Keith. Nothing big, it’s not a big deal.

Why did it feel like a big deal?

Keith had never given him a reason to be worried about himself, but he suddenly felt nervous about what he would wear. What to say when he got there. Would they hug? Would they shake hands? Did Lance need to look fancy? Well, probably not fancy, they’re going to a burger joint, but what’s considered too casual? Why would Keith even care?

Lance shook his head, wiping his rushing thoughts out of his head and stepping into the shower.

[][][][[][][]

Lance was able to get to the restaurant with no problem. He kept his phone on max volume just in case Allura decided to call him, but he really hoped she wouldn’t. She might. But hopefully not.

Yeah, getting to the place was no problem at all, but sitting and waiting for Keith to arrive was grating against Lance’s nerves.

He had decided to go for a casual look, wearing a simple light blue, button up, collared shirt tucked into a pair of grey trousers. He looked good. He felt good. Was he trying too hard? This was just a dinner. Nothing big. He’s never been nervous around Keith… so why is he now? And he’s not even here yet!

Lance was scanning his eyes over the menu in front of him when movement caught his eye. He looked up, and his breath literally caught in his throat. Keith wore a tight, fitted black shirt that clung to his chest and showed off his broad shoulders. His biceps looked like they were sculpted from gods and holy fuck Lance stop. Keith had a pair of tight, ripped, black jeans, hugging his thighs and calves in ways that shouldn’t be allowed. The real cherry on top, though, was the bright red striped flannel tied around his waist, moving with his hips as he walked closer and closer-

“Hey, I’m not late, am I?”

Lance swallowed, actually meeting Keith’s eyes for the first time tonight. His pale skin looked even paler with the dark contrast of his clothes, but he sported a light blush across his cheekbones, and his hair was pulled back into a cute pigtail. NO. No. Not cute. 

“I got done with work later than planned, so I had to rush and get ready-”

“That’s ok dude, you’re not late at all,” Lance interrupted, smiling brightly at Keith as he sat down across from him.

“Hah, ok, good. D’you order anything yet?”

“Nah, I’m still looking.” But Lance had put his menu down, and he hasn’t taken his eyes off Keith since he got here. He didn’t seem to notice, or if he did, he didn’t point it out. So Lance took his time drinking in the way the overhead light at their table made Keith’s skin a warm, pale color. The way his eyes shone that same, mesmerizing purple hue, and the way his long lashes curtained over his cheeks when he looked down at his menu.

“I’m thinking of getting the NFB, what about you?” Keith said, looking up at Lance, who picked up his menu and averted his eyes as if being caught staring was a bad thing. Well… it’s not an exceptionally bad thing, but… Lance felt a little embarrassed, alright?

“Uh… I’ll get the sage burger,” Lance stuttered. In all honesty, he said the first thing his eyes landed on, but reading over what was in the actual burger, it sounded amazing.

“Ah, I’ve had that one before, it's really good.” Lance looked back up to Keith, who was smiling softly at him. “So, how’s your week been? Anything new in the McClain family?” Lance chuckled at that, initial nervousness melting off him like a dirtied layer.

“Y’know, we’re all just lavishing in our wealth. Pretty boring shit.”

“So your wealth is boring to you?”

“Well, no, don’t get me wrong, I’m beyond grateful for the money I have, really, but… I don’t know, after a while it just becomes boring. There’s nothing you can look forward to, I don’t really have any more goals, I’ve already achieved them all,” Lance shook his head, resting his head on his hand, maintaining eye contact with Keith.

“Have you decided if they’re your goals?”

Lance remembers Keith talking about that before; the decisions Lance has made his entire life… were they ever his? Did he want this? Really want this life he built up for himself? Lance opened his mouth to reply, but the waiter walked back to them, asking for their orders.

After everything was put in, the waiter walked away, leaving Lance to finally answer that hundred-pound question.

“Well… I, uh… I think they were my goals. I know myself, and I know if I truly didn’t want to do something, I wouldn’t do it, but… I’ve always wanted to make my family happy. That was the most important goal for myself. The one I made. I knew if I followed their goals for me, mine would be achieved too, so… before I got my job and my model girlfriend and my huge apartment, I decided to follow what they wanted of me. Now… it’s all over, I guess.” When Lance stopped talking, he scratched the back of his neck, averting his eyes to the empty space in front of him, inspecting the napkin by his silverware with great focus.

“Lance,” Keith sighed, a weight in his voice that caught Lance’s attention. “You don’t have to keep this up, you know. I can see the way this lifestyle affects you. I can see that you don’t really like the job you have and the rich place you live-”

“I like what I have because it makes my parents happy. I’m not giving that up because of my selfish beliefs,” Lance interrupted, his voice cracking towards the end of his sentence.

“You’re wants aren’t selfish to have, Lance.”

“They are when it would disappoint everyone I love-”

“Lance, are you hearing yourself?” Keith’s voice rose, sparks of anger making his voice thick and his nose scrunch up in the cutest way. Cute? His nose scrunched. Wasn’t cute.

“If they really loved you, they wouldn’t try to stop you from living your life the way you want to! You never even tried, Lance! You pushed everything down because you were worried of being a disappointment to your family, when you never brought it up in the first place. Did you ever stop to think that it you actually thought for yourself and didn’t think of others with every fucking decision you make, maybe you’d be happy?” Keith’s hands were shaking when he was done, panting in the slightest way that would have appeared to be heavy breathing, but Lance could tell. What he couldn’t tell was the look Keith wore on his face. He couldn’t see what Keith was feeling.

“... Keith,” Lance mumbled, reaching a hand across the table to gently lay it over one of Keith’s trembling ones. For a moment, they simply stared at each other, trying to read one another and realizing they couldn’t. Lance didn’t know Keith enough to see the emotion behind his eyes. Keith wished he knew Lance enough to know with absolute certainty that Keith was right. They both didn’t know.

“I-I’m sorry, I…” Keith tried, turning his head away from Lance’s intense gaze, using his other hand to rest over his mouth. He’d said enough tonight. Neither dared move their interlocked hands, though.

“Hey,” Lance spoke up, bringing Keith’s hesitant gaze back to him. “What did you do this week? How’s the garage going?” 

Keith was… honestly surprised Lance remembered where he worked. 

“Oh, uh… it’s great. Well, not great, but good. We’re doing good there.”

“Yeah? Any frustrating customers?”

“Oh, don’t even get me started…” And just like that, the atmosphere between them was fixed. There was a slight tension in the air between them, but they still smiled genuinely. They still talked and joked and made each other laugh. And when the food came, Lance couldn’t stop moaning exaggeratedly into his burger, tears in his eyes as he ate flavorful food for the first time in awhile. Keith pretended he was embarrassed to be seen with him. He really just found Lance to be adorable.

[][][][][][][]

After dinner, they took Keith’s bike to an old forest trail everyone knew in high school. It was notorious for being a make-out spot, and Lance kept teasing Keith the entire time when he found out where they were. They now walked side by side, shoulders bumping together and hands brushing occasionally as they talked about their lives.

“This one guy at my office, I have no idea what his name is, but I fucking hate him! He keeps bringing in these nasty smelling lunches that stinks up the entire break room. And he wears checkered ties, Keith! Checkered!”

Keith was laughing so hard he had to hold his stomach, and Lance was reveling in the beautiful sound so close to him. He didn’t know how much he could miss one person’s laughter, even if you’ve only heard it a few times.

“Why do I feel like you’re the kinda guy to wear Christmas themed ties to work?” Keith asked, looking up at Lance.

“Oh I definitely do. You gotta be in the holiday spirit when it comes to Christmas with me, I go all out on decorations. You should see the type of parties I throw for Christmas, I’m practically known for holiday parties back at the office.”

“So, do you have any friends outside of work?” Lance glanced at him at that, then looked back towards the trail ahead of them.

“Nah, why would I? I have those at work, and then I have Allura. That’s kinda all I need, I guess,” he answered. 

“Oh… yeah, I guess so,” Keith responded, eyes raking over the trees around them to hide the disappointment from that sentence.

“And, I mean, I have you now.”

Keith’s head whipped around at that, meeting Lance’s gaze with a surprised one.

“Me?”

“Yeah, Keith, you,” Lance laughed, bumping his arm into Keith’s. “We’re friends now, we’ve officially gone to dinner together.” Keith tried to keep the blush from showing on his face at that, smiling fondly up at Lance.

“Well, I guess we should keep doing more dinners, can’t lose a friend like you,” Keith joked.

“You don’t need to bribe me with food, Keith. You’re awesome as you are, burgers put aside.”

Neither of them realized they had stopped walking, but they had. The forest around them filled the space between their silence, lighting it with crickets, rustling leaves, and the occasional owl. 

“Yeah?” Keith was the first to break the silence, and where his voice was supposed to sound teasing, it came out hopeful.

“Yeah… you’re you. Who wouldn’t want that?” Oh no, did Lance forget a word? He forgot the word friend. Friend was supposed to be there somewhere. He had to clarify that. But… why did it feel right not to?

Keith stared back at him like the sun was shining out of his ass. He’s never seen that intense of a look from anyone before. No, wait… he has. A long time ago. His mom used to look at him like that… a look filled with genuine affection and love when they had their mother-son dates.

She used to take him out for ice cream, or to the fair, or to the local toy store. She had always spoiled him, but he was always grateful for what he was given. He loved her, and she showed her love for him through their days together. When Lance was around 10, they stopped having those dates. His mother stopped smiling at him like that. He started to learn how to become the perfect businessman. He did it to gain those smiles again… but he never had.

Now, Lance was faced with the same affection… the same adoration in this gaze but there was something different. An element that drew Lance into those hauntingly beautiful eyes. Those amethyst hues that haunted him when he first arrived. He could practically see them getting closer and closer and-

And his nose bumped against something. Another nose. A nose attached to the same face as those eyes. A nose attached to Keith.

He could suddenly feel the hands that cupped the back of Lance’s neck, gentle but firm in a sense he’s never felt before. Secure. Safe. Comforting in a way he wanted to be familiar. He didn’t know when his hands reached out for Keith, but they rested on his hips, grounding Keith right where he was, not moving any closer or any further away.

This was dangerous, Lance couldn’t stay like this. What was he doing? What about Allura? What about their relationship? This is considered cheating! Well, Lance hadn’t actually kissed him yet, but this was cheating right? The way he feels right now is cheating. He felt… he felt a stronger affection than he ever had with another partner. Lance has dated, and slept, with a lot of people in his life. No one had ever made him feel like this, and they weren’t even doing anything.

Lance had to pull away, he needed to get out of here, he needed to restrain himself or else something would happen that he would regret, he can’t do this to Allura, he can’t-

“Lance.” Keith spoke right against his mouth, breath puffing over Lance’s lips and sending shivers down his spine. He’s never heard Keith’s voice like that before. Especially saying his name. Fuck, he needed to leave. He needed to back away, push away, get out, go home.

He needed to hear that voice again.

He let his eyes fall closed, bad idea, he felt Keith’s lips brush against his own, bad idea, he felt himself try to push in, try to get closer with the slightest pressure, very bad idea.

Lance doesn’t know what got him to be able to push away, but suddenly Keith wasn’t as close to him anymore. He didn’t feel the heat of his body, the tingle of his lips, the roughness of his hands. He missed it desperately.

When Lance opened his eyes again, Keith was staring back at him, partial looks of awe and fear strewn plainly across his face. Unlike before, Lance can read his emotions like a book… he wished he didn’t.

“Lance?” There was his name again, spoken in a much different context, and this time it made ice run through his veins.

“I’m sorry, I… I have to go, I shouldn’t be here,” Lance stuttered, taking hesitant steps backwards. Every step away from Keith was another stab to his stomach.

“Lance, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have- I-- please, don’t go,” Keith tried, walking forward and reaching for Lance’s hand.

“No, don’t apologize, you didn’t do anything, it’s me I need to leave, I need to go-”

“You don’t-”

“I really do, Keith, I can’t be here, I need to go.” With that, Lance was running. He turned and he ran, going god knows where, seeing as Keith was the one who brought him here. When he reached the clearing, he paused staring at Keith’s red and black bike. Fuck, what was he thinking?

“Lance!”

Keith?

“Lance, wait! You can’t just run home, you haven’t been here, do you even know the way home?” Keith’s voice was louder this time, he was likely only a few paces behind him. “Just… I know I made a mistake, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-- look, just let me take you to your car, you don’t have to talk to me anymore, you… you can just forget this ever happened, ok?”

Lance turned to look at Keith, gasping when he saw the flush high in his cheeks and the tears welling in his eyes. Lance clenched his hands into fists, fighting whatever urge he had that told him to hold Keith, to keep him close, to wipe his tears, to-- fuck, Lance can’t do this. His nails bit crescents into his palms, hands becoming wet with the blood welling there.

“Keith, I…” Lance tried. He really tried. But he couldn’t. He was a coward and he couldn’t face what he wanted. He couldn’t do this, his family, his job, Allura, they were all counting on him. They needed him to be the person he is. He couldn’t disappoint them. 

“Please… take me to my car,” Lance sounded small, arms coming up to hold himself as he turned from Keith’s hurt face. He walked towards the bike, climbed on, put his helmet on, and waited.

He didn’t need to wait long. Keith was there, turning on the bike, kicking up the stand, and then they were moving. Hesitantly, gently, Lance snaked his arms around Keith’s waist, resting his head between his shoulder blades and giving a silent apology. He had to leave. No one could find out.

When they pulled into the parking lot, Lance hesitated before unwrapping his arms from around Keith. He climbed off, and he took off his helmet. Part of him didn’t want to leave things off the way they were, but… another part of him didn’t know what would happen if he tried to talk right now. 

Instead, when his eyes met Keith’s, he moved to take off his helmet too, and stared up at Lance with that same gaze. When Lance went to talk, Keith put a hand up, saving him the effort.

“It’s ok, Lance. Just go,” Keith sounded defeated. Lance didn’t want to leave him like this. Whatever look he wore must’ve registered in Keith’s eyes, because suddenly there was a small smile on his lips. A lot smaller than what Lance had seen that night, but… it was better than the look before it.

Lance watched as Keith stood, leaned forward towards Lance, and placed a gentle kiss against his cheek.

“If you need me… you know where to find me,” Keith said, pulling back and sitting on his bike again. He didn’t give Lance a chance to speak, kicking up his stand and revving his engine before riding out of the lot. 

Lance was thankful for that… he didn’t know what he could say at this point.

He didn’t know what he wanted.

[][][][][][][][]

“Where have you been?”

Allura was equal parts worried and angry when Lance opened the front door to his old home. He had been worried this would happen. Now he was just lost.

“Lura, please, I can’t do this right now.” 

“You can’t do this right now? Oh no, we are doing this right now, where the hell were you?” Lance looked up from where he was, barely three steps into his house, and started walking around Allura. He headed for the stairs, begging to whatever would listen that he could just get some sleep.

“I was out. Went to dinner-”

“With Keith?” The way she said his name had him pausing in his tracks, halfway up the stairs.

“What’s your problem with him? He’s my friend, I’m allowed to have friends, Allura,” he bit back, regretting the harshness of his words for a moment when a look of hurt passed over her face. He’s hurt enough people tonight, he didn’t want to do it anymore.

But then her look vanished, and rage settled in its place. 

“You know why I don’t fucking like him, Lance-”

“What, because he was slightly rude to you? Have you ever stopped to think maybe it’s because you’re rude to him?” Lance was seething at this point, and turned in his place at the stairs, continuing his way up. If he was lucky, Allura wouldn’t follow him.

He wasn’t lucky. She did.

“I was never rude to him! I gave him a chance and he was practically rubbing himself all over you! You just choose not to see it!” They both made it into their room at this point, Lance having sat down at the foot of the bed.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” But he did. He knew what she meant. He’d experienced it today. The moment was practically ingrained in his nerves, grating against them and making him shiver every time he so much as thought about what happened. Which was almost every other minute. 

“Yes you do! That’s why you were with him! I know it!” And then there was silence. Lance raked a hand through his hair, resting his forehead against it after and staring down at his feet. His socks became the most interesting thing in the room.

The silence seemed to be never ending, neither ready to break the tension or feel the need to apologize. Lance wanted to. He wanted to so badly, but the more he thought about it, the more he didn’t think he needed to.

Why should he apologize? From Allura’s perspective, he was just out to dinner with a friend. Something she did all the time! Why couldn’t Lance have this too? Why couldn’t Lance have friends other than her and his colleagues?

“Listen, Lance… can we just put this behind us?” Allura finally broke the tension, voice softening, growing closer as she moved to sit beside him. “I won’t mention the situation again, let’s just… let it go.” Lance felt her hand smooth up his back, but he no longer felt the tingle he would before. He knew what she was trying to do. Makeup sex was always her solution to fixing their problems.

Now that Lance thought about it, when had she ever apologized for any of their arguments? When had they ever sat down to discuss their problems instead of having sex to smooth it over?

“You can just apologize and-” Lance immediately shook her hand off him, snapping his head to look at her. 

“I’m not apologizing for shit,” Lance seethed. Allura let out a gasp, staring up at him like he was a stranger. Well… maybe they were. He sighed at that, rubbing his face in his hands.

“I’m going to bed… in the spare room,” he said, standing from his spot and walking towards the door. 

“Lance, I swear to God, if you walk out of this room I’m breaking up with you!”

Lance kept walking, and closed the door behind him as he left. He was tired of her bullshit.

[][][][][][][][]

When Lance woke up the next day, he felt more rested than he ever felt. He didn’t have anyone waking him up at 7 a.m to go make breakfast. He didn’t have a blasting alarm that scared him out of his dreams. He woke up naturally for the first time in a long time.

He sat up, stretched out his back, and looked around the room. It was devoid of Allura or any of her things. She was probably really mad at him… he’d have to do some ass-kissing to make up for it. Did he want to? No. But he would. 

He got out of bed, shuffling out of the spare room, and into the room Allura was likely in. But Allura wasn’t in there. 

Well, it was later in the day, she was probably awake by now.

Lance didn’t think much of it as he made his way downstairs, listening to the sound of his parent’s voices getting louder. He couldn’t quite make out what they were saying yet, but he wasn’t really paying attention anyways. It was more dull background noise than anything particular.

When he walked into the kitchen, his parents went silent.

Eerily silent.

“Good morning,” he spoke, throwing out an opportunity at conversation, because this particular silence was making Lance wary. There was a long pause after his failed attempt at morning small talk, so he continued to make his routine morning coffee.

“Allura’s gone.”

At that, Lance stopped everything he was doing, slowly turning to look at his parents, gauging their faces, hoping it was some kind of joke. It wasn’t. They were serious.

“Gone? Gone where?”

“She went back home. Did you guys have an argument?” 

Allura went home? Without telling Lance?

Fuck. She’s mad.

Lance was trying to think, trying to convince part of his brain to do damage control and call her, make sure she’s ok, make sure she’s not leaving him. But that one part of his brain wouldn’t shut up. He doesn’t want to apologize! He doesn’t see how he was in the wrong this time, and usually Lance will apologize if he can see their argument. Lance never understood why he couldn’t have his own friends without Allura breathing down his neck.

But… but it’s Allura. The girl Lance fell in love with during college, the girl Lance fell asleep next to and woke up with every morning, the girl he watched movies with and… well, they never really went to parties. Formal ones, yeah. Now that Lance thinks about it, he doesn’t remember meeting any of Allura’s friends.

Hm.

Lance registered a little late that his parents were still talking to him. Still expecting answers. He just continued his walk to the coffee machine and started to brew a pot.

“Lance, if something happened, you should tell us!”

“Nothing happened, mama, we just… things just didn’t work out, ok?” When Lance’s eyes met his mothers, he immediately felt like he needed that motherly love from her again. Craved it like air. Needs those warm, gentle hugs, fresh baked cookies, blankets, cuddling on the couch, cheesy rom-coms lined up for them to watch.

Lance needs his family right now, not these working, stiff replacements that slid into place when he started to study business management.

Luckily, Lance’s mother couldn't agree more.

She walked across the kitchen, reaching Lance, and gently wrapped her arms around him. Lance didn’t hesitate to hold her too, to squeeze her tight and fight back the tears burning at the back of his eyes. He will not cry. He won’t. 

“Oh Lance…” And with his mother’s words, he wordlessly pressed his face into her shoulder, finally letting those tears, those emotions, out of his body. It felt sickening. It felt relieving.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW I am SO sorry this took me this long to write, i'm so bad at time management. Do not fear! the next chapter should (hopefully) be up sooner than it took to write this (ugh im so sorry).
> 
> So, next chapter is basically smut, so if you don't vibe with that, you can skip to the final chapter once it's released. I'll provide a brief summary of the events of the third chapter in the end notes of it. It's not COMPLETELY smut but it's mostly smut. There is some character development involved with it, but again, I'll put that in the summary. Love you guys! Please stick around for the next chapter ;)

**Author's Note:**

> OK so again, this is my first fic im posting publicly. Please let me know if there's anything I could do better? I'm really tryna take my sweet time and make this a good fic people can enjoy.
> 
> But mostly, I'm just enjoying writing it, and I'm not trying to make this become a work-thing for me, especially with the way the world is right now.
> 
> It's just a fic I really wanted to distract myself with. That being said, I don't have a scheduled release date for the other chapters. I'm definitely going to finish it and it will all be posted here, but don't expect weekly updates i guess?  
> It won't take me a whole year to finish (i hope not) and i'm definitely not abandoning this piece, i love it to much.
> 
> SO I hope you love it too, and go listen to Ribbon by Billie Marten! She's amazing and deserves more love!
> 
> Edit: yall i'm trying so hard to figure out how to indent/italicize/organize things on this, as I write on docs and then paste it here. If anyone can help me out editing wise on how to work this, please help a dude out!


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